Julia Joan Currier's Obituary
Julia died of complications from epileptic seizure disorder. She began having seizures when she was 13 years old. She lived in Bowie, Maryland as an independent adult with managed care 24/7. She wanted to live as normal a life as possible and was happy her last year although the ambulance and hospital stays were getting more frequent. The ICU and intubations necessary to stop cluster seizures were painful.
Julia is survived by her mother, Tracey Currier; sister, Clara Currier; father, David Nachowitz; and best friend, Dmitry Walberg.
This is a poem Julia wrote.
Status
A poem about epilepsy and my fight for survival.
My body learns the language of alarms. red lights. White rooms.
Hands that pin the world still.
While my brain throws lightning through every hallway it owns.
I am not sleeping
I am being taken hostage.
the seizure comes like a tide with no Shoreline. jaw locked, Spine arched, every muscle
Shouting now
while my lungs forget the shape of air. –
I try to breathe. I try to remember how there is a tube where my voice was.
Plastic standing in for prayer and I float somewhere above it.
counting the times i’ve died and been argued back.
once
twice
Again,
each time they pull me from the dark I leave Something there.
a year, a word, the easy belief that my body is on my side.
tonic
clonic
like a hammer and a bell
like God knocking too hard on the wrong door
I wake up bruised by living
throat raw, ribs aching.
doctors speaking careful sentences that never say how tired you are allowed to be
knowing that any day is my last
the machines keep me alive for the days I can’t be saying goodbye to my Loved ones
with tears in my eyes and a breaking voice.
I am slowly descending into that dark place where my eyes are shut and my body
analyzed.
People call me strong they
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